It has always been easy for me to fall in love. I know just how to catch someone and give them my entire self. The relationships I have been in have certainly been fun and spouted jealousy with others who weren’t so lucky with love. In the end, however they don’t work out. There is no how-to guide on finding someone nor is there any specific way to have your heart broken but I have found that there are ways to avoid life’s “love curveballs.” Meeting that person, dividing your time, and how fast to move are all important aspects of a relationship and I will explore each so that I can use my experiences for good!
First off, the meeting. It can be anywhere. Starbucks, the airport, a “friend of a friend.” There is not necessarily a specific place you should go to meet your future man. That said, do not jump to the idea that going to Wal-Mart on a Sunday morning requires a face full of makeup and a cute outfit. One of the things that catch a guy’s attention is your ability to be yourself. Now, once you meet a potential bachelor, be open and flirty. Allow yourself to be playful and down to earth. A polite gesture such as a pat on the arm or a joke can go a long way. You might just find yourself writing your number down for him!
So you landed the date! Congrats! What to wear? What to say? These questions are found bopping through every girl’s brain before a date. A flirty outfit with a sexy side is the best for catching his attention. A cute top, dark wash denim jeans, and some playful sling backs are the formula for success. As for the conversation; in my opinion a gentleman will ask questions and let you do the talking. If he’s smart he will know how much we gals love to talk about ourselves! Allow yourself to be open and willing to let him in a little bit. Always avoid conversation about your ex boyfriends, your plans for marriage and children unless he asks (which he won’t), and anything that has to do with yours/his financial status. Light conversation is always key.
It is easy to see his responses through his body movement and end a topic that might be making him uncomfortable. Hopefully everything will go well and you will hear the “we should do this again sometime.” As far as a goodnight kiss and such…go at your own pace. If you feel comfortable giving a peck on the cheek/lips go for it. Sex however is different. I feel that it is best to wait till at least the 4th date before you jump in bed with the guy. If he is truly looking for a relationship rather than a roll in the hay, he will wait for you.
Let’s say you and John Doe are together now. Life is perfect and you are incredibly happy. Please do not forget about your independence. One thing that I have never been good with is remembering myself and what I like to do. I catch myself sacrificing quite a bit to spend more time with my lover. This is a mistake. Until you are married to a man leave time for yourself. You never know what might happen. For example, he wants to have lunch on the day you meet your mom every week…so you cancel. A small sacrifice and this is how it starts.
Sure, devote time to him…but don’t abandon your obligations or the things you do for yourself. If you give your whole life to him and breakup, it will be hard to change everything. Hopefully things will work out and marriage will touch your life but take it slow. Relationships are so much better when they are organic. When they are left time to grow and mature by themselves, rather than through force. In the end, you will look back on your first date with him and the life you two combined and realize that it is perfect in every way because it wasn’t forced. You were yourself and he will love you for it! Oh and your mom won’t be mad at you for cancelling. ; )